whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
