we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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