OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
