There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
