Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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