they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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