I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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