I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
