I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
