I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
