You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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