let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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