dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
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