and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
