It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
