i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
