From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
