How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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