Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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