Duck Duck Cougar?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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