Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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