Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
