You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
