U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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