If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
