never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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