So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
