is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize