38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
