Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
