Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
