omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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