i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
this boner is exhausting
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
