Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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