You really coming over, don't trick.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
