I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
