There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
