Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
