Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
