I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
