she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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