He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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