Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
