My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
