dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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