And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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