I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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