Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
