So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
