All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
She's JV to your varsity
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
