So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
