Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
