My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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