So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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