o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
