they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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