Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
