I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
