called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
