Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
