I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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