I'm passing your future prison.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Randomize
