Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
