Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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