it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
