I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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