You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
