oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize